Thursday, June 23, 2011

How to tell a geek from a geek.

In my wanderings and musings of the world I've noticed there are geek-cliques. Not the bad kind of cliques, but the kind where geeks fit into their own geek genus. There are sci-fi geeks, music geeks, fashion geeks, book geeks, and comic book geeks. I know there are more out there, but these are the ones that I've encountered in the last 6 months. Now, you're probably wondering how to differentiate between them. That's easy, or it seems easy to me.

Before I get started, let me address one thing I've noticed; geeks love their t-shirts. I don't blame them. They're comfortable, stretch easily, and can disguise a geek as being better groomed. As in, not wearing those dirty white tank-tops people use as beer gut cover-ups, and then go shopping for more beer. If you would like to know which shirts I'm talking about go here or here. I'm not saying that all t-shirts are better than the beer gut covers, but they help.

Moving on. When you desire to find the group of geeks that best suit your wants, you'll need to follow a few simple steps:

Quote any sci-fi TV show or movie you've seen. Any. Such as: Star Wars, Star Trek, Firefly, Battlestar Galactica (old or new), Mad Max: Beyond The Thunderdome, Terminator, and so many more. This will help in narrowing down the sci-fi geeks.

Look for certain tics. This is usually indicative of a music geek, but not always. These tics can be anywhere from a slight head-bob to a full blown air-guitar. If you notice someone using a chopstick to conduct a concerto with their sushi, you know you've found the music geek.

Find someone who is wearing (or has in their closet) Ugg boots. Anyone who buys these boots is considered a fashion geek. Why? Because no other person in their right mind would wear these. Okay, okay not all fashion geeks wear these, or have them, but it's a good start on your quest for geeks. Note that 99% of fashion geeks will have, at least one, 9x9ft. walk-in closet full of clothes, shoes, and accessories. The other one percent will have four closets.

Feeling like someone just walked all over you with their words? You've found the book geek. They're the best because they can make any person feel less of a person just by speaking. Why, they have a verbal IQ of 140. Words can seem so innocent on paper, but when they are used by someone who devours books by the minute, they cut deeper than the paper they're written on. Book geeks have the propensity to speak verbosely and use the five-dollar SAT words. Like cacophony or loquacious. Use those two words in a nice, neat sentence. They can also use words for fun. The next time you sit down to dinner with a book geek, try using wordplay instead of foreplay; it may not be as physical, but could be twice as fun.

Finally, we have the comic book geeks. The best of the bunch. They can encompass most of the previous forms of the geek genera. They're able to quote sci-fi movies and TV shows because they watch most of them, and are also able to quote comic book movies. Some comic book geeks even have the fashion geek mutation. This mutation gives comic book geeks an entire year's worth of ironic tees. They'll listen to almost any music and appreciate it, that covers music geeks. Plus, book is in the name of the comic book geek. When you see a comic book geek, you'll know it! If just by the fact that they call their car Clark or try to fling webs out of their wrists.

Hopefully, this list helps in the search for your type of geek. Maybe it will help you the next time you find your way into a random festival or convention.