Saturday, May 22, 2010

Holy audition FUBAR, Batman!

This will be a long blog; so grab a snack, a drink and your Snuggie, and nestle up for the long haul.

This story is about acting. 'What?' you say, Brooke is talking about something she obsesses about? No wai!

Since I was about ten years old I've wanted to act in musicals, on stage, in movies or on television. I know, I know; totally weird because I'm so frakkin' shy, but it's true. Anyway, every two or three months I get considerably more obsessed with this idea than usual. So, in February, or around that time, I decided I was really going to do it. I started looking for classes or coaching, or anything that would spark my interest out of my humdrum life. Also, I've been looking for an outlet to push out something different and creative in myself. Lo and behold I found a class at Hale Centre Theatre. It was exactly what I had been looking for. Cheap, local and on Saturdays after work!

The classes were excellent. I learned about so many different things that I never imagined, mostly about me being able to actually memorize lines. I was able to perform monologues, and improvisation (my favorite). It was totally awesome being able to feel the energy in the room with the other attendees, and being able to express myself in a way I never thought possible. I LOVED going to class every Saturday and just having tons of fun!

Well, we were instructed on how to audition for speaking roles: At the end of the 8 week class(last Saturday), we had a mock-audition and performed the monologues we had been working on for so long. At the end of the audition, I was, well...let's say coaxed (commanded is more like it) by one of the fake auditors to try out for the upcoming Hale Centre Theatre stage production of Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert and Sullivan). I could have said no, but there was that small little voice in the back of my head saying, "what could it hurt". ACK!! What could it hurt? Okay, it didn't hurt, but holy Hannah was it not well thought.

As such, I did what I said I would; I called on Monday morning and set up an audition for the following Saturday. w00t. Or w00t is what I thought... I still actually had to do the dang thing. AND, I had to choose a song, who knew that choosing a song to sing was so annoying and hard. Well, I chose We kiss In a Shadow from the King and I. I chose this because it's opera-ish like Gilbert and Sullivan's stuff is.

Now, I haven't actually sung anything, really, since high school, so I don't remember to warm up, or to stop practicing after 1 hour. My throat gives out on the the first night! d'oh. So, I rest it, and then remember the warm-ups and practice as little as I thought was good. I'm not great at singing by myself, but I want to go for it anyway. The entire time, I'm getting more and more nervous, The time I have to wait to get this audition over with is killing me. Again, I continue to get more and more frustrated with myself and my throat starts to go out again on Friday, ugh! (oh yeah, I have that cruddy schedule where I work three graveyard shifts and then two early morning shifts, so I'm going on about 1 hour of sleep)

The day of the audition: I'm doing okay, I'm ready to go. Oh, I forgot, the lady I spoke with on the phone said I needed to have the sheet music ready to go, so I get it and have my 16 bars all set. I greet the person at the table, he tells me to put post-its where my music starts and ends, so I put the post-its right at the beginning of my singing and the end... Big mistake.

I get into the audition room, I swear there was about 100 people in the room, okay more like 10, but still... It's my turn. The piano plays...
 and I stand there...
The piano plays, and I sing from the beginning of the song, not the part I chose...
I'm FREAKING out now!
The wonderful people behind the table were absolutely awesome at NOT showing their disdain or frustration. And me, being the apologetic one says "Sorry, this is my first audition"
Wait.... I did what??? I told them this was my first audition??? Seriously?
Well, they were still absolutely amazing with how gracious they were, and let me start anew. Bless their souls.

Okay, audition is over, I realize by this time, I should have put the post-its 1-2 bars before my queue, and finished the entire ending of the song instead of just sticking to the 16 bars they said I needed...I'm learning. For some strange reason I decide to stick around and wait for them to call the people who are chosen for call-backs. Why, I have no idea, of course I didn't get a call back! So I start chuckling to myself, then go out to the car, and start laughing at myself! Oh, the experience I experienced....

Hopefully I won't be auditioning for any musicals any time soon, and any other roles, will be at really small theaters.


  1. Way to go Brookie! I have always wanted to audition, but have never had the guts!

  2. I gave you an award! Come and get it! :)

  3. Brooke, you crack me up.
    The end ;)